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[老师已改] ] 雅思写作——【A类】【Task2作文】【犯罪类】请老师批改 谢谢

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发表于 2015-11-13 08:19 | 小站托福TPO客户端

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Some people think thatall the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe thatthere are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning someskills in the community).Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is common, in recent years, to see agreat number of media reports on crime. Due to the serious social consequenceof lawbreaking, some individuals deem that wrongdoers ought to be sentenced toprison to crack down on crime while some others hold the view that there areother options to protect the social order. From my point of view, we need toconsider the severity of the offense rather than simply send lawbreakers toprison.
It is particularly true that imprisonmentis an efficient way to deter crimes. Considering the scial-economic costs ofdelinquency, no rational person is willing to take imprisonment. Besides, asfor those who have committed crimes and been serving prison sentences, theyreceive the punishment to reflect on their actions and cannot pose a threat toothers in a few years. Therefore, imprisoning offenders is conducive toreducing crime rates.
Nevertheless, imprisonment is not a panaceafor crime prevention. We have witnessed numerous criminals re-offend afterbeing released from prison. In fact, it is unfair to impose heavy punishment onpeople who commit minor crimes, such as shoplifting and vandalism. Theses offenderscan be sent to do community service so that they can regain recognition fromothers and re-enter society quickly.
From my perspective, choosing what kind ofpunishment should depend on severity of the unlawful behavior. It is necessaryand objective to punish those who commit a serious offence whereas it caneasily lead to resentment if someone just commits a minor offence but serve thesame prison sentence. In the long run, the prison will be overcrowded,contributingto the dissipation of judicial resources owing to such overly strict law.

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发表于 2015-11-13 09:44 |显示全部楼层
希望老师尽快为你批改哟~
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发表于 2015-11-15 19:30 |显示全部楼层
SATapp下载
批改中
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发表于 2015-11-15 19:40 |显示全部楼层

游客,如果您要查看本帖隐藏内容请回复
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发表于 2015-11-15 19:43 |显示全部楼层
Some people think thatall the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe thatthere are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning someskills in the community).Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is common, in recent years, to see agreat number of media reports on crime. Due to the serious social consequenceof lawbreaking, some individuals deem that wrongdoers ought to be sentenced toprison to crack down on crime while some others hold the view that there areother options to protect the social order. From my point of view, we need toconsider the severity of the offense rather than simply send lawbreakers toprison.

It is particularly true that imprisonmentis an efficient way to deter crimes. Considering the scial-economic costs ofdelinquency, no rational person is willing to take imprisonment. Besides, asfor those who have committed crimes and been serving prison sentences, theyreceive the punishment to reflect on theiractions and cannot pose a threat toothers in a few years. Therefore, imprisoning offenders is conducive toreducing crime rates.

Nevertheless, imprisonment is not a panaceafor crime prevention. We have witnessed 少用这种主观的表达方式numerous criminals re-offend afterbeing released from prison. In fact, it is unfair to impose heavy punishment onpeople who commit minor crimes, such as shoplifting and vandalism. Theses offenderscan be sent to do community service so that they can regain recognition fromothers and re-enter society quickly.

From my perspective, choosing what kind ofpunishment should depend on severity of the unlawful behavior. It is necessaryand objective to punish those who commit a serious offence whereas it caneasily lead to resentment if someone just commits a minor offence什么事大错,什么是小错?很难区分鉴定的,就笼统分析,对于违法者而言,哪种方式更加有效一些,但是还需要辅以另一种方式 but serve thesame prison sentence. In the long run, the prison will be overcrowded,contributingto the dissipation of judicial resources owing to such overly strict law.

估分:6.5;
评价:自己的观点确立再完善一下哦

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发表于 2015-11-15 19:43 |显示全部楼层
Some people think thatall the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe thatthere are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning someskills in the community).Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is common, in recent years, to see agreat number of media reports on crime. Due to the serious social consequenceof lawbreaking, some individuals deem that wrongdoers ought to be sentenced toprison to crack down on crime while some others hold the view that there areother options to protect the social order. From my point of view, we need toconsider the severity of the offense rather than simply send lawbreakers toprison.
It is particularly true that imprisonmentis an efficient way to deter crimes. Considering the scial-economic costs ofdelinquency, no rational person is willing to take imprisonment. Besides, asfor those who have committed crimes and been serving prison sentences, theyreceive the punishment to reflect on theiractions and cannot pose a threat toothers in a few years. Therefore, imprisoning offenders is conducive toreducing crime rates.
Nevertheless, imprisonment is not a panaceafor crime prevention. We have witnessed 少用这种主观的表达方式numerous criminals re-offend afterbeing released from prison. In fact, it is unfair to impose heavy punishment onpeople who commit minor crimes, such as shoplifting and vandalism. Theses offenderscan be sent to do community service so that they can regain recognition fromothers and re-enter society quickly.
From my perspective, choosing what kind ofpunishment should depend on severity of the unlawful behavior. It is necessaryand objective to punish those who commit a serious offence whereas it caneasily lead to resentment if someone just commits a minor offence什么事大错,什么是小错?很难区分鉴定的,就笼统分析,对于违法者而言,哪种方式更加有效一些,但是还需要辅以另一种方式 but serve thesame prison sentence. In the long run, the prison will be overcrowded,contributingto the dissipation of judicial resources owing to such overly strict law.

估分:6.5;
评价:自己的观点确立再完善一下哦
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发表于 2015-12-9 16:31 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2016-3-2 11:48 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2016-3-2 13:18 |显示全部楼层
学习一下范文,提高分

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购买转让学习资料,就来二手交易区

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发表于 2016-6-21 17:11 |显示全部楼层
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