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[Jessica.Zhang老师已改] 托福写作——[综合+独立][TPO31]慕名求JessicaZhang老师批改~

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发表于 2016-5-7 19:52 |显示全部楼层
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Question: Summarise the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.



Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Currently, an interesting question has successfully grasped newpaper headlines: are people living in this era feeling more satisfied with their lives than those living in the past? People\\\'s opinions differ on this topic. Some hold their banner high saying humans are living horribly because the fast-paced development is more a curse than a bless, with millions being thrown into environmental population and bloody wars. While to my way of thinking, generally, people are enjoying a better living conditions and thus achieving more happiness than their ancesters. My reasons are as follow.

First and foremost, thanks to the technological development in our era, our lives become more convenient than before. If mobile phones have not been invented, if modern medicines have not been put into wide use, and if new, clean energy has not been discovered, the odds of making further progress in raising people\\\'s living standards seem slim. We are living in a world where we can get help for our problems, unlike centuries ago, people had no chance to cure a simple cold and waited to death. Before telephone was invented, people had to write letters to each other and family members have to wait months before hearing from their beloved ones. Our lives have turned much better, thanks to the hard work of ancesters. If we insist that humans are living in a far worse condition than before, we are actually denying our predecesors\\\' efforts.

Another point worth mentioning is that people in this era are provided with more opportunities than before. They have more choices to make, young people today can dig up impulses to become astronauts, scientists, biologists... Some may argue that kids in last centuries can also dream like that, but the thing is children at that time will find it hard to realize dreams, espescially for those down and outs. Nowadays many grassroots can become very successful figures because they can get access to Internet, to get knowledge and get connected with those who are willing to help them, like angel investors. They will also be more confident than kids in the past time because our current worldview is far more mature than those in the past. In Medieval Britain, people dared not compete with those with blue blood, but now, everybody can chase their dreams no matter where they come from, because the spirit of liberty and fair competition have been ingrained in people\\\'s minds.

Admittedly, as this essay points out in the first paragraph, the technological development might bring curse, addiction in mobile phones can result in social indifference, while use of Interent can also be a waste of time if not approporiate. However, what this essay must argue is that these are not the fault of our time, it is the fault of human nature: laziness and greediness. We need to overcome our shortcomings and then enjoy our lives.

In a nutshell, this essay looks at the merits brought by high-tech in our century, the next at how out time brings us true freedom and chances in life. Based on the arguments above, I disagree with the statement that people are less happy than people were in the past. Question: people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past

Currently, an interesting question has successfully grasped newspaper headlines: are people living in this era feeling more satisfied with their lives than those living in the past? People\\\'s opinions differ on this topic. Some hold their banner high saying humans are living horribly because the fast-paced development is more a curse than a bless, with millions being thrown into environmental population and bloody wars. While to my way of thinking, generally, people are enjoying a better living conditions and thus achieving more happiness than their ancestors. My reasons are as follow.

First and foremost, thanks to the technological development in our era, our lives become more convenient than before. If mobile phones have not been invented, if modern medicines have not been put into wide use, and if new, clean energy has not been discovered, the odds of making further progress in raising people\\\'s living standards seem slim. We are living in a world where we can get help for our problems, unlike centuries ago, people had no chance to cure a simple cold and waited to die. Before telephone was invented, people had to write letters to each other and family members had to wait months before hearing from their beloved ones. Our lives have turned much better, thanks to the hard work and great inventions of our ancestors. If we insist that humans are living in a far worse condition than before, we are actually denying our predecessors\\\' efforts.

Another point worth mentioning is that people in this era are provided with more opportunities than before. They have more choices to make, young people today can dig up impulses to become astronauts, scientists, biologists... Some may argue that kids in previous centuries can also dream like that, but the thing is children at that time could find it hard to realize dreams, especially for those down and outs. Nowadays many grassroots can become very successful figures because they can get access to Internet, to get knowledge and get connected with those who are willing to help them, like angel investors. They will also be more confident than kids in the past time because our current worldviews are far more mature than those in the past. In Medieval Britain, people dared not compete with those with blue blood, but now, everybody can chase their dreams no matter where they come from, because the spirit of liberty and fair competition has been ingrained in people\\\'s minds.

Admittedly, as this essay points out in the first paragraph, the technological development might bring curse: addiction in mobile phones does not bring enjoyable moments to people, nor does abuse of Internet, nor does toiling on the treadmill of intense competitions. However, what this essay must argue is that these are not the fault of our time, it is the fault of human nature: laziness and greediness. We need to overcome our shortcomings and then enjoy our lives.

In a nutshell, this essay looks at the merits brought by high-tech in our century, the next at how out time brings us critical opportunities in life. Based on the arguments above, I disagree with the statement that people are less happy than people were in the past.



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发表于 2016-5-7 20:56 | 小站托福TPO客户端

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发表于 2016-5-9 16:55 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2016-5-9 17:12 |显示全部楼层
感谢您的参与,小站写作王牌老师JessicaZhang为您作出如下点评:
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发表于 2016-5-9 17:16 来自手机 |显示全部楼层
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