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[Omar~Omar老师已改] 雅思写作-剑雅12-TEST5 謝謝老師批改讓學生見寫作盲點,謝謝!

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发表于 2018-2-7 05:38 |显示全部楼层
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 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.


The given graph illustrates the percentage of Australian men and women doing physical activity in the year 2010, from the group age of 15-24 to the group age of 65 and over. Obviously, females were more active and willing to do exercise except for the group age of 15 -24.

In terms of males, it peaked at 53.3 at the group age of 45 - 54, while the lowest percentage was at 39.5, in the group age of 35 - 44. Females had the highest percentage in group age of 45 - 54, while the lowest was in the group age of  65 and over, at 47.1 percent. It is obvious that males were willing to do physical activity at their young age, and the rate went down when they were in the older age before the percentage rising gradually again at the group age of 35 - 44. On the contrary, females weren't willing to exercise at their young age, while the figure steadily increased when they were older, with a decline in the group age of  65 and over.

Overall, males had more concern at the older age that motivated them to do regular exercise. On the other hand, females were always motivated.


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发表于 2018-2-14 16:58 |显示全部楼层
NOTE: THIS ESSAY IS BEING EVALUATED.
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发表于 2018-2-14 17:14 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2018-2-15 05:27 |显示全部楼层
謝謝老師的評估!
我會把老師給予的建議記錄下來!
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