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[HANNAH KIWI老师已改] 托福写作——[独立][TPO23] 求老师批改,感谢!!!

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发表于 2018-5-7 11:15 |显示全部楼层
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Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In today’s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

[Passage]:
Nowadays, the pace of living and working in society is getting faster and faster. Hence, some people hold the point of view that it is fine to work rapidly with the sacrifice of the correctness, which I totally disagree with. I reckon that what matters the most in working is correctness instead of rapidity, and my reasons are as follows:
First and foremost, in most cases, that a person finishes his or her assignment with mistakes is equivalent to that he or she has done nothing. Flawless and correct result of our work is generally something we pursuit, or otherwise, it is pointless or even, can have some destructive consequences. Take the space competition between the US and the USSR in the past century as an example. The event that the spacecraft Challenger made by the US exploded during its launch is known to many people. Just a single mistake in the assembling of this spacecraft causes large quantities of economic loss and the death of all the astronauts. This mistake could have been avoided, but the US didn't want to fall behind the USSR in the space project and therefore, the process was speeded up. In spite of the huge effort that is put into this project by many people, it was a total failure, simply because one single mistake was made.
What's more, it can take more time to correct the mistakes made in earlier work. Granted, if work is conducted quickly, time can be saved to some extent, but generally, a flawed result is not accepted, indicating that more efforts are needed to correct them. Therefore, the time to do the work quickly and the time correct the mistakes combined is sometimes more than merely working slowly and carefully. For example, in many developing countries, some construction companies always want to shorten their construction period in order to make the building able to be put in use earlier, by which they can obtain optimum financial rewards. However, these buildings always have safety issues due to the rapid building process. Therefore, long period time would be needed to detect and repair all these problems. So in turn, the time of putting the building in use would be put off.
To put it in a nutshell, carefulness is more important than rapidity during the working process. Just as the saying goes "Slow and steady wins the game". Doing your jobs slowly and carefully not only promises the perfection of the result but can also avoid taking time to correct the mistakes in the future.


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Once you eliminate all the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how inprobabe, must be the truth.
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发表于 2018-5-7 11:15 | 小站托福TPO客户端

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发表于 2018-5-7 16:27 | 小站托福TPO客户端

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发表于 2018-5-8 09:55 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2018-5-8 13:23 |显示全部楼层
我也想看看这个批改是什么啊
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发表于 2018-5-8 19:37 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2018-5-8 22:12 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2018-5-8 22:30 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2018-5-9 10:28 |显示全部楼层
Obviously, the living rhythm as well as working pace in current society get more and more tensile and rapidly. Most of people are generally involved in the multiply accumlated speed development and geomerically improving changes, in which, they are forced to forward by pursuiting more accompliments in short time. Meanwhile, coming along with the risk making mistakes, they continue to lose credits on correction unconsciously or consciously but unwillingly to give up the so called " High Speed Work" . Yet Neither are all good works can be judged  by high speed nor are those works with mistakes do not need more extral time to be fixed.

First of all, not all good works can be named by sense of high speed. As normal indiduals, some accomplishments with mistakes are equal to failure. Even though we always  pusuit flawless and correct results, the outcome might be destructive, let alone taking risk making mistakes in order to get high work speed.Think about the explosin incident of sapcecraft "Challenger", Contributed by thousands and hundreds works had been done in only two years, the US standed on the lunch base before USSR, the project, however, ended up with high economic loss and casualties in the explotion just caused by a tiny mistake in assembling. It is really a tragedy urged by the race of "Speed competion" in which some basic scientific rules were being ignored. Can you simply say work quickly with risk making mistakes is more importent than to do it slowly and correctly ?

Ironically, some others argue that we can fix those non-fatal mistaks in time because the quickly work can buy the spare time for it.  These people most likely have never heard of the contruction projects in developing country: The Contractors want to save the labour cost counted by time as result in promoting the building work more and more quickly.
In this case no wonder much more extral fixing time has to be spent on those "Amazing Contruction Speed" buildings. Some of them even extent to 10 years. Considering of 18 months as reseaonable construction period, rareness can agree it is important to work quickly in risk of making mistake than the verso.

As a conclusion, here I just want to say doing your jobs slowly and carefully not only promises the perfection of the result but can also avoid taking time to correct the mistakes in the future.

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发表于 2018-5-11 14:40 |显示全部楼层
学习学习学习!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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