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托福写作——[独立][TPO53] 求老师批改,谢谢老师!!!

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发表于 2018-5-10 09:59 |显示全部楼层
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Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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[Passage]:
When asked about if governments should spend more money in Internet access than in public transportation, each individual may express his own preferences. Some people are in favor of the Internet access, saying that Internet access decides the statue of a country, whereas other fans support that public transportation is a basic area in a country. From my standpoint, I would express my appreciation for the latter.
      First of all, public transportation is one of the most significance aspects in our life. Despite the fact that Internet access becomes more and more critical in modern industries, including finance, science, education and so on, the essential statue of public transportation still cannot be changed. Without the effective public transportation, people in all industries would not be able to finish their work punctually and the efficiency of the whole society will become lower and lower.
      Apart from this, a better public transportation is advantageous to solve the serious environmental pollution. As we all know, gone are the days when a country focused on the development of the economy and ignored the environmental pollution. And the gas discharged by cars is the main resource of the environmental pollution. There is no doubt that it can be controlled with a better public transportation. For instance, Hainan, a province in the south of China, is renowned for its fresh air and charming scenes. According to a recent survey, the local government spend nearly 1000 million Yuan in the improvement of public transportation every year. One of the most indispensable things is that the local government gives lots of subsidy to public transportation and require all the buses and taxi to use the clean energy like electricity and natural gas which reduces the burden on the local environment.
     Furthermore, compared with Internet access, public transportation can be more beneficial to citizens. There is no doubt that a substantial number of people who are old cannot keep up to date and they cannot gain enough advantages from the development of Internet access. However, the development of public transportation can make their life more convenient. They are able to go anywhere they like to enjoy themselves. The development of high-speed train in China is a wonderful example. With the increasing development of high-speed train, more and more persons can go to a distant place to have fun within a few hours. Not only can it make people relax and reduce the time wasted on the train, but also promote the tourist industry and the economy.
     In a word, I have a notion that governments are supposed to attach greater importance to improve public transportation than Internet access.

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发表于 2018-5-12 13:09 |显示全部楼层
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Tina20170807  感谢您的参与,小站王牌老师Tina, Xiao老师为您作出如下点评: **** 本内容被作者隐藏 ****  详情 回复 发表于 2018-5-12 13:58
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发表于 2018-5-12 13:58 |显示全部楼层
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Tina20170807 发表于 2018-5-12 13:09 批改中
感谢您的参与,小站王牌老师Tina, Xiao老师为您作出如下点评:
游客,如果您要查看本帖隐藏内容请回复
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发表于 2018-5-15 16:00 |显示全部楼层
Tina20170807 发表于 2018-5-12 13:58
感谢您的参与,小站王牌老师Tina, Xiao老师为您作出如下点评:
**** 本内容被作者隐藏 **** ...

非常谢谢老师的点评~~~!收获很多!!!
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发表于 2018-5-17 09:18 |显示全部楼层
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