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[老师已改] 雅思写作——[A类][Task 2][OG Test5]

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发表于 2015-1-28 19:09 | 小站托福TPO客户端

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本帖最后由 zjsxzhj 于 2015-1-29 21:41 编辑

题目:
Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

正文:
In recent years technology is getting increasingly advanced and therefore incurs the unmoral monitoring behaviors in a wide range of companies, institutions and even governments. Not only employees' communications, but also their daily actions are supervised simultaneously. Furthermore, many of them are even unaware of this situation in numerous circumstances. I feel that monitor should not be encouraged since human right is an essential part in a legal citizen's rights owned.

With regard to the strength, it is no doubt that supervision tools, such as cellphone tracking and security cameras, have provided a way for senior managers to assure employees' loyalty to the firm. If all the staffs in an organisation could unite together and no inside information was leaked out, a firm could probably achieve its long-term pursuits and outperform amongst other competitive companies.

On top of this, appropriate monitor could promote the completion of solid regulations of a company, probably to a large extent. As long as the employers have observed any misbehaved affairs, they could instantly set up additional rules or regulations into the original one to keep off these mis-actions.

Unfortunately, this sort of supervision exactly violate some basic human rights, especially in the case that people are unaware of this. Overmonitoring could be severely harmful to those being monitored, not only in terms of their mental status, but also on their unsecured positions. This aspect of drawbacks proven to be really hazardous, and has long been appealed to be banned by many politicians and scientists.

To sum up, the merits of monitor are extensive, in spite of its hazardous defect. Caution should be taken by senior executives when they decide to monitor. More precisely, they should make sure the basic human rights are not ignored and completely respected.

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发表于 2015-1-28 19:13 | 小站托福TPO客户端

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最后一句的make sure 写成了make should ,老师不好意思= =。。。
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发表于 2015-1-29 18:45 |显示全部楼层
SATapp下载
同样,word的形式发上来

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zjsxzhj  已经发上来了~!谢谢老师  详情 回复 发表于 2015-1-29 20:40
该会员没有填写今日想说内容.
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发表于 2015-1-29 20:40 | 小站托福TPO客户端

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DylanWei 发表于 2015-1-29 18:45
同样,word的形式发上来

已经发上来了~!谢谢老师
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发表于 2015-1-30 10:30 |显示全部楼层
批改中
该会员没有填写今日想说内容.
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发表于 2015-1-30 10:40 |显示全部楼层

游客,如果您要查看本帖隐藏内容请回复
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2018雅思考试机经预测

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发表于 2015-10-29 22:40 |显示全部楼层
顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶顶
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发表于 2015-10-31 22:14 |显示全部楼层
环境和咖啡咖啡咖啡咖啡咖啡
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发表于 2015-10-31 22:24 |显示全部楼层
学到了!希望能得到更高更高的提升哈
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发表于 2015-11-12 17:14 |显示全部楼层
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